free to be me.

I am free to be me. I am free to think about what I want in life. There are so many possibilities now! That is really exciting. I just hope I make the right decisions. I want things in life to be more successful and stable and moving forward. i want to move out of California. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to see more trees and for the weather to be more cold perhaps. I want to really be successful in my photography business. I want life to be more consistent and for life to really propel forward. I learned a really good lesson that I don’t have to shut up and just let people tell me how life is going to unfold. I was so desperate for God to make my life good and better that I was willing to let go of all my own desires to take on God’s desires for my life. And God knew that and didn’t want me to continue living my life ONLY for him. He kinda helped me see that GOd’s will for my life was MY will and HIS will combined. That is a paradigm shift for me. That makes me realize that i can have so many things going for my life. I can really stand up and make a change. This is so awesome!

I am excited with my newfound “power.” I am excited that i get to exercise my voice and make a difference in what I want to do. I still feel scared and nervous but I WILL DO IT ANYWAY. I still have so much to learn but God is going to help me walk with it. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

I have a voice!!!!

Leila

sewing machines and boogie boards.

I BOUGHT A SEWING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!! and a boogie board. hahaha

So why the lowercaps for boogie board? Because I’m totally self conscious of my OVER WEIGHT BODY! and I TOLD God that I need to lose weight and I can do it MY way which will be harmful and unhealthy. Then God said that my food issues has to do with my past issues so when the past settles down within me, so will my food and body issues. THAT IS GOING TO TAKE 3,000 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first project will be to take clothes that I will give away or that people don’t want and take them apart to put them back together again! and then to make new designs with them! I am SOOO excited to mess things up and see how to make things amazing! YAHOO-ZA!

the end.

i like my new neighbors.

Sooooooo i was excited about today because it was my last day in class for the school year. I saw that the Haynes’s door was open so I went over to say hello and saw that they were having dinner with my new neighbors (their new neighbors as well.. we share neighbors). I went over and asked them if it were rude that I was coming over. They said no. so i hung out with them. it was nice. I like my new neighbors! yay!

I have half a paper and some skimming to do and I’m done with my quarter! YA-FREAKEN-HOO!!!

tanks Jesus.

tanks Jesus. it’s time to celebrate!

choosing life.

Deut 30:19 “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”

I CHOOSE LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember that book I told you I was reading? Happiness is a Choice, By FrankMD Minirth (Author), PaulMD Meier (Author), well i stayed up to read bits and pieces of that book and could not put it down! I did not know I could choose a life that is amazing!! I did not know i was hiding behind depression because I was scared to live my own life! i did not know that i can over come this quickly!!! I DID NOT KNOW!!!