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God told me tonight that making mistakes is like giving oneself grace. mistakes is what GRACE looks like. I thought that was profound. 
also tonight I jogged 1.3 miles. I haven’t jogged in 5 years or so because of an ankle injury. I was very happy with my workout today. I didn’t want to go but boy am I glad I did go. I succeeded in jogging. Had I not left the house, i wouldn’t have done that. So BRAVO God for pushing me to do it and BRAVO Leila for obedience. Now I’m hella tired so off to sleep I go.
Need to make SP flyer. Very scared. Need business cards as well. VERY SCARED. ACK!
i just came back from yet ANOTHER wedding. Everyone and their momma is getting married. My other friends are getting married in October. Love it!
So i saw some of my closest friends there… I’ve missed them because I haven’t seen them in ages! literally! But what is it about tonight that had my chest tight and my inability to breathe. I was so stressed (still am) about something. I just needed to let it out…
So I think it has something to do with me thinking that I’m not accepted (even tho every action they have towards me oozes acceptance!). maybe it’s a trigger because in high school i didn’t feel accepted. I DON”T KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!! I’m gonna go pray about it. because dang it’s bothering me!!!!
Tonight was supposed tobe fun but something was off. I was disturbed at how the people lined up to get as much alcohol as they could, as if they were fish out of water and their life depended on their alcohol consumption. They were guzzling the alcohol as if their bodies wouldn’t eject it, as if their kidney’s could contain the alcohol and as if the hole in their hearts could be filled by this liquid. I thought maybe I was being to “religious.” Maybe I was thinking to hard or analyzing or being too hard on everyone. After all, jesus’s first miracle WAS turning water into wine at a wedding. i was at a wedding. They were drinking the wine as if it were water. Was I off?
No really, i don’t have a problem with alcohol. I don’t think drinking alcohol is any worse than over eating or living your life consumed in electronics. Anything that is over the edge you have to have use caution. I don’t think smoking is a matter of “christianity” but rather a matter of health. I think alcohol consumption is a health factor as well and eating too many hamburgers at McDonalds is the same type of issue.
But what was it about tonight that jerked me within. As if the people couldn’t be excused to have fun or be lively or be themselves unless they had some alcohol.
really, I’m not against alcohol. I don’t mind some rum and coke myself. But seriously….
So what do i think was going on? I think some people were looking for outside means to fill something on the inside. There’s a difference between being full already within and then drinking and drinking to fill up within.
I wish people were full already. I think people are walking around on empty. 
that makes me sad.
HE CAN FILL YOU UP! 
He is the living water that just fills your cup until it overflows. I just wish people wouldn’t shy away from Christ and would rather let him in to love them. He really is that good. I wish there’s wasn’t such a stigma against God. because God didn’t do anything wrong. he’s such a great God. I wish people would give him a chance. BOO.
Okee… good night! I really really really want to eat a candy bar right now. YUM!! But… i can’t. darn.
WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!!!!!!! My business is going “zooom!!!” soaring up into the sky! God you’re amazing. How is it that you’re doing that. But I think the more obedient I am to you, the more faithful you are to me.
I just want to repent. thank you for forgivness. I also am tired of being afraid. I’ve had fear walking around with me all my life. I’m tired of it. Let’s say BYE BYE to fear!!! Lord, please free me. and teach me how to ask you for help. 
God has decided to open up heaven and pour out his blessing on me. There’s so much of it that I can’t handle it.
God SLOW DOWN! hahaha
I AM FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! and tomorrow I’m going to the beach with some friends and I want to boogie board! I feel sooooo uncomfortable. I asked God, “what should I do? What do you think God?” God said, “be patient with yourself. You are changing but be kind while you are changing.” God please help me to be kind. Please help me… because… i feel so uncomfortable that I dunno how to enjoy myself. I feel so self conscious! God please help.
One year ago, June 12, 2008, I moved from a home that was my safety. I obediently followed God’s guidance to go back to school and be on my own. Fear ran through my veins. I was scared. I was nervous. I did not know what to expect.
It’s been one year exactly.
I am triumphant.
YAY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!
I BOUGHT A SEWING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!! and a boogie board. hahaha
So why the lowercaps for boogie board? Because I’m totally self conscious of my OVER WEIGHT BODY! and I TOLD God that I need to lose weight and I can do it MY way which will be harmful and unhealthy. Then God said that my food issues has to do with my past issues so when the past settles down within me, so will my food and body issues. THAT IS GOING TO TAKE 3,000 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first project will be to take clothes that I will give away or that people don’t want and take them apart to put them back together again! and then to make new designs with them! I am SOOO excited to mess things up and see how to make things amazing! YAHOO-ZA!
the end.
God just laid it on my heart to PRAY for my business. Also to make a flyer. and give Fuller students a % discount for their family or maternity or child portraits! WOW! God is so good! I feel his anointing on me right now!! aaahhh!
I’ll post the flyer and show you what it looks like later.
here are two flyers I did just for practice:
Sooooooo i was excited about today because it was my last day in class for the school year. I saw that the Haynes’s door was open so I went over to say hello and saw that they were having dinner with my new neighbors (their new neighbors as well.. we share neighbors). I went over and asked them if it were rude that I was coming over. They said no. so i hung out with them. it was nice. I like my new neighbors! yay!
I have half a paper and some skimming to do and I’m done with my quarter! YA-FREAKEN-HOO!!!
